Vijay Pattni on Mondays: “No Talking Please, We”re British!”

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We”re all going to Waterloo, via Germany. But fear not, for I believe we shall be accompanied by a bucket of vindaloo. Yes, a bucket. Such class could only befit a nation whose most recent merits include creating an entire sub-society of youngsters acutely nicknamed the “ASBO” generation. Oh yes, and there was of course the small matter of foreign criminals being released and illegal immigrants working for the Home Office, but irony like that is often lost on government ministers.

Too busy polishing their exorbitantly priced cars or making cameo appearances on The Simpsons, I imagine. But fear not, for the past month has seen a blissful period of shameless ignorance and saturated television, for the entire nation has been gripped with anticipation. Yes, a large World Cup to go please, with a side order of Big Brother. Actually, super-size both of them, and make it snappy, England are playing and they could quite possibly fumble everything at the last minute.

In-ger-land”¦

The roller coaster that is an England tournament has truly leapt off its starting mark, galloping along at ever increasing speeds and taking the nations hearts with it, painstaking match by painstaking match. As we gorge ourselves gratuitously on the complexities of the holding midfielder, we mourn for the truly sad and unfortunate early departure of Michael Owen. And we get riled up every time “Wazza” makes a trademark run, well, anywhere on the pitch really, such is the barely contained vehemence that is his pace, football intellect and strength. We also like to talk about the 4-5-1 set-up and David Beckham’s previous miscarriages of free kicks. But today, O” beautiful day, the gaffer supplied his signature and marked our name on the quarter-finals list.

Excuse me if I have been rambling, but this business of talking can become quite infectious. So much so, that I haven”t even mentioned FE yet. But bear with me, for I shall reveal all to those with the most patience. And in FE, that applies to every single one of us.

So, let us make no mistake, events of such magnitude acutely reveal the nature of our society. We like to talk about stuff. Plain and simple. And it is any stuff. This ranges from Important Stuff (not very much), Nondescript Stuff (very, very, life-threateningly, mind-bendingly and ear-shatteringly excessively) to the Truly Trivial Stuff. Continuing with football, it seems as though suddenly, every citizen in our fine litter-infested and over-crowded nation has become a pundit. Everywhere you walk, men, women and children have assumed the previously rosy top ranks in the footballing hierarchy and have in-depth knowledge of the beautiful game.

Tightening the Laces

They are leaking out everywhere you walk, and while jumping on the proverbial bandwagon can become quite tempting, all this talk can get, well, rather boring. As I have suggested on a number of occasions, FE seems to suffer from this verbosity and becomes truly bogged down in it where every college and provider churns outs impeccably groomed candidates ready to leap into the working world equipped with the right skills. Or, as is more the case, they don”t.

To return once more to this monstrously fun thing of talking about stuff, last week saw the release of a report from the Confederation of British Industry, detailing the action plan for competitive tendering in FE. A loaded shotgun was cocked and ready, with the Learning and Skills Council taking both barrels, among others. “Previous education acts have given the Learning and Skills Council increased freedoms to innovate, but progress has remained slow,” states the report. And the chastising continues: “CBI members working with colleges report that the role of local LSC’s in quality monitoring has not grown ““ by contrast it has diminished.”

Now, evidently, this is another call from within the vast chasms of FE to attempt to shake it up and make progress, and essentially, that is a good thing. The exposure we have been getting recently is encouraging, at least to acknowledge that there is a problem and it is not being pushed under the carpet. But whatever the response, as various affected agencies hold different opinions on how to best manage FE, we need to make steady progress, and not dart haphazardly through ill-advised policies. Not to suggest that competitive tendering is ill-advised; only time and proper discourse will reveal that. But hey, we”re British, and we love talking about stuff anyway. This time though, lets try and do a little less talking, and a bit more doing, shall we?

Wishing the England lads all the very best!

Vijay Pattni

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